November 14, 2017

And so my dating life began...

Well it went fuckin dainty until I chickened out lol
But it wasn't all that sprinkles and butterflies. I was extremely self conscious and was anxious.

This dude I met online was definitely a 9/10. He was soups tall, handsome (asianly), polite, and was neat (no facial hair, no smoking, no drugs). He was everything I would love about a dude. BUT. He was more of the romantic ones who loved to go do nightly drives and stuff. I'm not that kind of girl. I find that boring and if left in silence, awkward. I loved doing activities and wasn't much of a nocturnal person as I used to be in high school (internet all night lol). No matter how handsome he was, this was a turn off for me.

We met up and it was awkward. Of course since it's a first date and all. He was really nice and if we met as friends, I think I would have loved to hang out with him. However, the world was against me and the moment we met up as dates, I knew he wasn't the one for me. I didn't have the urge to kiss him (I never have for anyone but I'm 19 now!), and he was just nice to look at. I wasn't curious about him as much as when I used to have a crush on this one dude.

Fast forward to after the date. We decided to have a 2nd date. Cool. Maybe I'd be able to tell 100% if I wanted to keep meeting him or not. But alas, my brain found something I didn't like about him.

Now keep in mind guys, if you don't really like someone but they are awesome, you WILL want to find something bad about them to not meet them. And that was me. Uhu

He didn't message me as much as I would have liked. Every other day would have been fine. Two texts every other day, a small convo. That's all I wanted. But we could go days without contacting each other. I didn't want to meet him anymore. I was supposed to meet him for dinner and a drive but I ghosted him. He didn't text me the night before or the day of the meet if we were going too. So I assumed he got the hint and wasn't coming. An hour after our meet up time, he messages me and I felt a wee bit bad but at the same time glad.

I was glad I didn't have to meet him anymore. He could go meet someone who loved doing what he does. And the fact that I didn't have to tell him why. He seemed to have a slight temper. I'm sure I'm assuming and he would have been cool with me letting him know it's not working out. But I'm quite a chicken and ghosted him.

So ladies out there, don't do that. Unless they pester you and can't take the hint. Be polite and tell them it's just not working out. It's the best for the both. What if you miraculously meet them outside? Awkward right?