Yoyo my readers!!! Its been a while since the updates and i must say, i am sorry but, i was busy and quotev.com has kept me occupied. Ehe... anyways! Today my postwill contain how i trully feel about friends, family and mainly trust.
Have you ever trusted someone and was let down? You thought they could keep the secret or help you out in certain times when you really needed them and was willing to do the same? Only to be let down? Well, I've experienced it one too many times. Everyone has. Maybe worse than me. But you know what? Those hurt emotions also led me to build a wall. A wall to protect myself from others.
If someone tried to befriend me, i push them away. They will not get through my wall and gain my trust. If they are persistent and i see their determination and good will, i do open up. But, so far in life, they all dissappointed me so i stopped making friends.
I thought it was the best but it was not. I found out after a year of seclusion that i didnt need to block them out physically and emotionally. I only needed to prevent them from entering the wall emotionally. So in middle school, i had many small groups of different friends. I only used them for company and they were for the same. Some tried to use me to get help on their homework but, i acted like i was stupid. I passed middle school of 8th grade with ease. I liked it. In 6th and 7th grade, i was a fool. I confessed to someone only to be thought nothing of by them and let my emotions run loose! I was a stalker! To this day i regreted it sooo bad. Another thing was a group of friends i actually thought were my friends. I was wrong...
This girl who i will not name but only her first letter C, was a tomboy. I thought we were friends. But, she kicked me, gave me bruises on my legs, and looked down on me. It lasted for 6th and 7th grade. I acted kind to her in 8th grade just for fun. She would get the humiliation she would deserve. Just only a glimpse though. On the bus, she acted familiar to me. She waved at me. I looked at her with a blank face for 2 seconds then turned away. I looked again and she attempted to greet me once more but, of course i acted like a total *beep*
I saw an old friend who i will not name but with an E. She was nice to me i guess. I merely ignored C and said "Hi E!" Cheerfully. Oh how i loved the humiliated disspointed face C made. She never spoke to me again and that was what i wanted.
I saw her being fake in 8th grade and she went to my church somewhere around 8th grade and 9th grade. I had a feeling people would soon see her facade. My mom told a women who worked at the church about why i disliked C. The women thought i was just overthinking. But soo she found out what i meant. I saw c's facade slipping oh so quickly. I wanted to laugh at her. But i acted innocent. People started saying wow, i didnt know she was like that. Whats wrong with her? And so forth. I felt happy she was being punished. There would be more for her in the future.
So children. Do not let your emotions let loose, do not trust so easily. Its ok to fake being friends as long as your not caught and doing bad things. Hehe, who am i kidding, thats what i did for revenge. Good luck to you my readers. I far you well~♡
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